Her Pain.

 

She had beautiful long dreads they were natural she was the first girl i ever met with natural dreads, sad eyes, and loved her ‘weed’ she never joked with it. 

She hurt every day and i could see it, i felt every inch of her pain and did nothing about it. “my mum hit me again today and didn’t stop till i started bleeding” she said days passed and she went through the same pain as days passed. 

She would call and cry telling me every pain she is holding back and tell me she’s stronger than i am and wouldn’t end herself over pain she’s drowning in. 

I could say i knew she was hurting and i couldn’t do anything, I remember asking her countless times on how to get her away from her mum knowing how much pain it could take for someone to drown so much in the person would stop fighting. 

I hate what she went through, I hate that i never saved her, I hate that I couldn’t save her. 

Years passed by and i still feel her presence and her telling me she got me. 

She never wanted me in ways i would decline she wanted what i wanted for me, me to be safe and lastly me to be safe. 

It hurt so much i cant even remember her name i never called her by her name and she would always say it was cute how i forgot her name even when she knew i knew everything else 

Her favorite color, her favorite weed, her favorite time of the day, everything that seemed weird. 

I don't know where she is right now but I'm sure she’s safe and happy, she has to be. 

I am sorry i didn’t save you when i could. 

I am the villain in your story even if you might not put me there but i am i should be.